Volume 1, Issue 4	November/December 1998

The Gift, the Giver, the Rebel, the Thief, and the Stranger and his Glue

The Giver was alone, and the Gift unused: the Giver felt lonely, and sought to find someone worthy of the Gift.

The Rebel came along and saw the Gift the Giver possessed, and desired the Gift for himself. Rather than ask the Giver for the Gift, or ask what the Giver wanted for the Gift, the Rebel decided that social rules did not apply to him, and simply said "Give me the gift."

The Giver knew that the Gift was fragile and would be destroyed if mistreated, and did not trust the Rebel; for how many of those who are impolite are also delicate? But the Giver did not wish to offend, and so said to the Rebel "I am sorry, but this Gift is for someone else."

The Rebel grew angry and blustered "But I deserve the Gift. I am special and I deserve that things be given to me."

The Giver, glad to have trusted her first instinct, merely repeated: "I am sorry, but this Gift is for someone else."  And the Rebel, still complaining, went his way.

The Giver sat under a willow tree, contemplating the Gift and wondering about the qualities needed to really appreciate the Gift; as she was sitting there the sun and the breeze and the sound of the creek below lulled her into a doze.

The Thief, who had overheard the Rebel and the Giver, was waiting for just this moment. Dashing out from behind a nearby bush, he made a grab for the Gift; grasping it he started to run away.  However, the Giver was awakened by this and reached out to stop the Thief.

"Give that back!" cried the Giver. "It is not yours! You have no right!" So saying, she reached out, trying to retrieve the Gift.

The Thief said "I do not care if it was not mine, I have possession of it so it is now my property." And so saying, he pulled again at the Gift, hoping to wrench it from the Giver.

In the ensuing struggle, the Gift was fouled, battered, and broken. The Thief, deciding he did not want a damaged Gift, finally let go and said "You keep it; it is now worthless."

The Giver cried at the state of the Gift, which she had hoped to find someone worthy of; it was dirty, pieces were missing and scattered in the grass around her, and the intact parts were bent and dented. She began to believe the Thief's assessment of the Gift: perhaps it no longer mattered who it belonged to, worthless as it was.

But then she noticed that her tears made clean streaks on the Gift as they fell, and she thought that perhaps if some of it could be cleaned, all of it could; perhaps she could make her Gift have worth once again. She took the Gift and its broken pieces to the creek, where she began to wash them.

The Gift was easy to clean, but in trying to wash the pieces that had been broken from it, the Giver lost one. She began to lose hope again. Yet she was still determined to try to repair the Gift.

Hours passed as she fit pieces back together where they would stay. Some pieces she could not make stay, however. From behind her, a voice: "Perhaps this Glue could help you mend your Gift". She turned to see a Stranger, holding a small tube of Glue. She took the Glue and thanked the Stranger, then finished repairing her Gift with the Stranger'sGlue.

When she turned to give the Glue back to the Stranger, he was gone. She thought to herself that this Stranger had thought her Gift worthy enough to donate his Glue, and not even demand payment, nor even ask for the Glue to be returned. Perhaps her Gift had worth after all.

And as she sat and contemplated her Gift, she realized that the Stranger was the type of person who would neither ask nor demand a Gift, nor would he take, but rather he would give. And she thought to herself that the Stranger was a Giver too. And who better to appreciate a Gift but a Giver?

So she sought out the Stranger, and when she found him, she tried to return the Glue to him. He thanked her, but said that she should keep the Glue, in case the Gift should break again.

And the Giver said "In that case, you should accept the Glue, for I wish to give the Gift to you." And so saying, she placed the Gift in the Stranger's hands.

The Stranger looked at the Gift, and said "This is too precious; I do not know if I can take care of this Gift." The Giver said "I believe that you can, and I will stay with you and help you care for the Gift when you falter."

So the Stranger and the Giver took the Gift together, sharing in it and sharing it, and held it as an example for all to see.

author unknown

Yours You need nothing to bind my heart and soul, That you have done with a look and touch. And knowing that I am completely yours, I belong to you, my loving Master. My body also belongs to you, kind Sir, Although it needs no bindings, Here is a gift for you to use, To remind me, as I need it. lisa June 9, 1998 This was written and given to my loving Master, along with a set of wrist and ankle restraints custom made for me.

It's from You... You say my strength gives you courage. But it's your courage from which I draw my strength. You say my smile brings you happiness. But it's your happiness that makes me smile. You say my faith fuels your devotion. But it's your devotion which feeds my faith. You say my energy lifts your spirit. But it's your spirit that gives me energy. You say my love touches your heart. But it's because of your heart that I am filled with love. author unknown

Our next newsletter is for January/February. Anyone with a Valentine Message for their sweetie, send it and there will be a message board for them to see. Say is cute or say it sweet, but say it before December 31. The next newletter will be up by January 1st, so anything you want to send, needs to be sent ASAP.

Written September 24, 1998 Living & Dying in a D/s Lifestyle In Memory of Joe When Joe died my life was turned upside down and I was lost and I was struggling with such a range of emotions.  He was gone and it was like someone reached in and ripped my insides to shreds.   You see, not only was he the man that I loved and lived with for 10 years, he was also my Dom. Joe introduced me to the lifestyle shortly after we started to live together. I had no idea that he was a Dom, I had no idea of what this lifestyle was, but he taught me and thru him I learned and I discovered that this was something that I wanted, not only wanted, but felt that this was what I had been missing from the other relationships I had. We were 24/7 yes, but it was not always D/s......D/s was a big part of our relationship, but it we both had our jobs and we also had our own sets of friends, but thru being with each other it was only natural for me to become friends with his friends as well as he with mine. Joe knew that I had come from an alcoholic home.  He knew I was severly beaten and he didn't want to scare me or do anything to me that would bring me back to that time in my life.  So he brought me into this very slowly, gauging my reactions to certain things he did.  He would slap my ass, not to hard, then caress it..I loved it, he knew I loved it to.  Little things such as that is how he gradually drew me to the lifestyle. This is not just a story of how I met Joe and how I was drawn to this lifestyle.  It is also one of learning to deal with the fact that the man you lived with for 10 years, the man who captured your heart and soul was dying. On February 14th, 1996, we received news that we didn't expect.  We knew he was sick and had been for over a year before finding out what was actually wrong, but what we heard on that day was not one that we expected.  He always went to the doctors and was in excellent physical shape.  But since October of 1995 he kept getting cold after cold and such a hoarse cough that the doctors took X-rays and but all they told him was that it was bronchitis.  Then he got pneumonia but still the X-ray didn't show what was really wrong until 2/14. He no sooner got over the pneumonia when he started coughing even harder and was having trouble to breathing.  He went to the hospital and X-rays were taken again.  This time we were told that his lung had collapsed from the tumor that was behind it.... The doctors said he had carcinoma, and that the tumor was attached to the back of the lung....We were devestated, this was not what we had thought to hear. We came home that day and we held each other and cried.  So many thoughts that each of us were having, so many concernns as to what was going to happen and where all this would take us. Things happend to him so quickly.....complications that a patient going thru chemo can get, he got.  Time was taken away week by week it seemed and on June 14th, 1996, I brought Joe home to die.  By this time the cancer had spread not only the bones, but to his brain as well and the following day he died as I held him in my arms.. D/s never left us during the almost 2 years he was sick, especially the last 4 months.  Sessions had stopped, but D/s was still there, so was my respect and feelings for him and to please him in any way possible.  He still expected the same things from me as he did before.  I never stopped shaving even though I knew we could not have sex, but that didn't mean I had to stop doing what I had been doing the last 10 years.  My collar was worn when I was instructed to wear it, he liked to be able to see me wearing it when we were alone. He was sick yes, but he was still my Dom and I never disrespected his position in my life or mine in his.  He was my Dom and I was his sub, D/s was more to us than just sex.  It was about mutual respect...respect not only for ourselves, but for one another, it was one of loving and caring.  Because he was sick only intensified my wish and desire to please him with anything that he asked of me. The day I brought him home was a day we both waited for and fought with the doctors for during that whole week.  We had no peace those 4 months, he was constantly in and out of the hospital and that left so little time for us to talk and to think. So this was to be our night... When he had become sick we had started a ritual at night where he would sit up in bed and I would kneel facing him (this was done even when he was in the hospital) and we would talk about our day and look back and talk about my learning D/s and the changes I had made over the years.  So, this night was a very special one for us......when finally his sister and mother left I went back into the living room....   Hospice had set up everything that was needed earlier that day and he was laying there patting the bed beside him for me to go to him....I knelt beside him as usual and we talked, saying things that needed to be said and then letting ourselves say what were were afraid to say those past 4 months.....He told me again how much he loved me, laughed when he remembered things I did to gain his attention because I felt he wasn't showing me enough attention  ::G:: He told me it was hard at times to discipline me because I would make him laugh because I would do something or something would come out of my mouth before I could stop it and he said he had a difficult time trying to sound stern with me.  I told him again what a wonderful man he was not only as my Dom, but as my lover and my friend...I thanked him for teaching me how to let go and to grow and to be who I am today because of his love and his guidance.. This was our last night together, I knew it and so did he.....You only had to see his face..to see his eyes swimming in his face, to know that he would have no tomorrow.  But even though it was to be his last night, our last night, we did not falter from the usual ritual, except for one thing and it was something we had discussed on the day we had to talk about funeral arrangements, I was not to wear my collar this night.  We had talked of if he were able to be at home when he died, that it would be best for me not to wear it because when the time came, he knew I would forget that I was wearing it and he didn't want to have to leave me trying to  have to explain that. The morning of his funeral when I was given the time to be alone with him, I took from my purse the collar he had given me 10 years before.....I placed the collar to my lips and kissed it then slipped it into his pocket I  leaned down to kiss him goodbye. In Memory of My Dom ~SofttWhspr~

Comments encouraged... and will be printed here in the next issue. If you have a topic you would like to see addressed, or something you want to get off your chest feel free to send them to the editor at editor@clpw.net. I will try to print as many as I can of them each month

Sharing Ideas.....

This Month's Topic... What is your favorite toy and why?

This can be something you bought or made,  something from the BDSM world or the 'Nilla world, or something no one has ever seen. Be prepared to show it.... If it's that good, there may be some of us that want to see, too.... :)  If you are on the using end... what reactions do you get from it. If you are on the receiving end, what does it feel like? We are all always on the look out for new impliments and maybe someone out there has something that we ALL need to know about. :)

Next Month's Topic

What is the difference between Top/Master/Dominant? bottom/slave/submissive?

Here is one to get you started... :)

Upcoming Topics and Workshops November 3 - Topic - Flogging November 22 - Workshop - Restraint Making December 1 - Topic - tba December 20 - Christmas Party Topics and workshops are tentative. If you have any suggestions or comments, send them to me at obedient_one@mindspring.com

Community Bulletin Board Leather Pride Pins and Accessories are available . If you are interested in them, here is the direct link. If you have something of interest that you would like to share with the communuity, please send the information to lisa Upcoming Events I am making a calendar of events for 1999. Please send me any information on leather events for next year!! As soon as it's complete, I will put in on the site.

December 1998

January 1999

MPE - Memphis Power Exchange

N.O.P.E - New Orleans Power Exchange

PEP - People Exchanging Power

If you know of a group that meets that you would like to see listed here, please send me the meeting times and the contact person's email address. I will post the meetings here once they are confirmed.